What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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You are joking right?

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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