Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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