why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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