what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops