How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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