A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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