Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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