Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One time i was sitting down

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

like most people my age. im 27

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops