what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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this website is a bad joke

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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why dont they make black forks

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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