Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops