Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man makes a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops