If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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