what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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