With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Penis

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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