A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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A man died.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops