What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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