How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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I didn't know that guy did crossfit

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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im telling maguire

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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