If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops