Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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