Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops