What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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