Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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