Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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