A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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knock knock come in

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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