Why did the old man die? He was old.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops