A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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