Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops