Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

thumb_up thumb_down +16

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops