Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

I am quite mature.

A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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