How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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I'm so punny.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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