What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

My cat just died.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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