Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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