Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

What's stupid a light bulb.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

Tony Romo

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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