Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Asian women drivers...

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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What is life? Paul.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops