How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

will you like this joke my sources say no

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops