Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

If the 49ers won the superbowl

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

Where can I apply for janitor school?

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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