Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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