What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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