What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You are joking right?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats bloop with an m? matthew

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

thumb_up thumb_down -20

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops