so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops