'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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you will like this because i am black.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops