Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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