You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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