Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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