what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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