Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Women's rights

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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