Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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