A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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HELLO EVERYONE

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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