What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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69

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops