- Anti Joke

Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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