Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who is smarter than a human? a nerd

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

im not black, im Joseph Kony

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops