Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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