Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

What is cowboy say

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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