Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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a black man pays his child support

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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whats black and large -me

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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