A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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