A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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kkkk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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