What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops