why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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I'm rick james bitch

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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